The Naked Truth

Cruise #13-Well, this one was interesting. This cruise was a charter cruise. Which means a group of people essentially rent the boat for a cruise. This group was called Bare Necessities. Yes, you guessed it, they were nudists or naturists as they like to be called. Not only were they naked they were old. The average age was 55. That is a fact not a guess. It was awful and I spent the majority of the cruise in crew areas. The thing that struck me as the strangest was the fact that they were not completely nude most of the time. My favorite outfit was when they would wear collared shirt and shoes with no pants or underwear. They said it wasn't about sex but I wasn't born yesterday. Every time one of them would come on stage to talk they would make some reference to sex. The good thing about the cruise is that we got to see new ports. I'll tell you about those in a minute. Here is an interesting story from this cruise. One night I we showed two movies (Slumdog Millionaire and Twilight) in the Phantom Lounge. I was the one appointed to make sure everything was running correctly. About fifteen minutes into the movie, an elderly gentleman in an open bathrobe taps me on the shoulder. He said he couldn't read the sub titles. I told him this was the best quality we had. Our lounge shows movies via DVD. We do not have movie theatre projectors. I kept trying to describe to him why we couldn't get better quality and he kept getting more and more annoyed. I ended up calling our Audio/Visual Manager to come talk to him. Of course he told him the exact thing I just told him. Finally, the guy got the hint and went back to his seat unsatisfied. It took all I had not to laugh. I mean really, I was talking to an enraged naked guy. It was very surreal.

The fly-ons for this cruise were Percy Crews II and Karen Grainger. There weren't as many this cruise due to the fact that we had two days off in Key West. Percy is one of the veterans of the company and had no problem with all the nakedness. What he did have a problem with was me calling him Happy. He was walking with his back to me down the gangway and I yelled out "Happy". He turned around and said, "you just called me Happy, man". I quickly realized my mistake and told him I was sorry. When he came for the show later that night I greeted him with "hey Percy". He replied with, "oh, so I'm not Happy anymore". It was good in the end because he had a few laughs at my expense. The reason I called him Happy was because I was told that Happy not Percy was supposed to do our Intro Show. Anyway, Karen was lovely as always. I love doing her shows. They are very light and she is a tremendous singer. She ends her show by singing Somewhere over the Rainbow, which has always held a special place in my heart. It has always been connected with theatre for me. One my first musicals I did in high school was the Wizard of Oz. That was a good time in my life. Also, Wicked got me thinking about theatre again and in a lot of ways led me to the job I have now.

The first port was Nassau. I decided not get off so that I could catch up on my sleep. The SCC training that I am doing requires me to wake up early and my job requires me stay up late. Put the two together and you get zombie Chris.

The next port we went to was Half Moon Cay. Carnival owns the island and therefore ship rules apply to the island as well. So, they were allowed to be naked on the beach. So guess what I did. That's right, I took off my clothes and........ got in the shower. Then I played NCAA football 2009 in my cabin for the rest of the day. I don't even want to know the discustingness that I missed.

The third port was Key West, Florida. We stayed over night. I didn't get off the first day because I was port manning for that day. We split up the cruise for port manning and it was my turn. The next day we got off early and headed into the city. Very cool place by the way. Ben, Jenn, Greg and I had booked an excursion for the afternoon and we took a cab in order to get where we were going. It was about a forty five minute ride and cost us an arm and a leg. Once we got where we were going we did the required training for what we were going to do. When it was about time for us to go we learned that the plane had a flat tire and it was going to take about an hour and a half to fix it. We had the owner drive us to a restaurant down the street. By this time the Georgia vs. Florida game was about to start. So, needless to say I didn't mind the delay. After a while the owner came back and got us. Good timing too because I was about to start throwing stuff at the TV. Man, are we bad or what? Anyway, Greg and I boarded the plane and we took off. After flying over the keys for a little while the owner attached himself to me and pushed us both out of the plane. That's right friends and family I jumped out of a "perfectly good" airplane. Actually, it was flying rust box. We did a few flips and then he pulled the parachute. He then asked me how my stomach was and I said it was fine. Next, asked me if I wanted to spin and I said lets do it. So, we did a few spins in the parachute and coasted slowly to the ground. It was AWESOME. I said before I went I would only do it once but I would love to do it again.

The rest of Key West was fun, too. That night there was a giant party in the streets. It was called Fantasy Fest. This is what the Naturists had been gearing up for the whole cruise. They weren't supposed to be naked in Key West but let me tell you they were. There are things that I saw while I was there that I can't describe in this blog. We met up with Kyle and Robbie for some food. Robbie is a big Phillies fan so we watched the World Series and then watched the parade. I had a BBQ sandwich. It was soooo good to have BBQ again. All in all it was a good day there were a lot of firsts.

The final port Cozumel, Mexico. First, Jenn, Robbie and I went to a crew hang out called No Name Bar. It is a pool side bar that crew members from all the ships come to to hang out. We had some Margaritas and chatted with people we had worked with before. At this place there is a rock wall next to the water. It is about thirty feet above the water. Greg, Robbie, Matt and I jumped off the wall into the ocean. It was quite exhilarating. After we got tired of doing this, we met Kyle(golf pro) and Ben for some mini golf. The thing that was unique about this place was that they give you a walkie talkie when you get your club and ball. You call them and they will drinks and snacks to your hole while you are playing. By the way, I won. I beat the golf pro on the final hole. It was quite satisfying because Kyle is a Florida fan and still hadn't shut up about the game the day before. Me beating him gave me some ammunition to shut him up. After the smack talk was over, Greg, Robbie, Matt and I went to Casa Denis for some authentic Mexican food. I got a combo platter with several different things on it. It was awesome but a little spicier than going to a Mexican restaurant in the States. After dinner we walked around for a bit and headed back to the ship.

I didn't get off in Fort Lauderdale because I was supposed to be on port manning this week. Sasa(back lounge tech) switched with me the next day and I will be on port manning next cruise.

Talk to you soon,

Chris

Picture #1-The pier we were docked at in Key West.

Picture #2-My approach after sky diving. Thanks Jenn for taking the picture.

Picture #3-From L to R: Greg, Me, Jenn and Ben after sky diving.

Picture #4-No Name Bar in Cozumel.

Picture #5-Me after my glorious victory over Tebow(Kyle).

Picture #6-Matt and Robbie doing thier best to look cool at Casa Denis in Cozumel.

Picture #7- A city square over looking the water at dusk in Cozumel. See if you can find the kid in the picture.